Do you have a funny hookup story?

I expected more of you Wildore. Don’t expect longterm intimate love from a one-night stand if you want to avoid disappointment. The reason is because there aren’t exactly a ton of girls doing this all the time. It is a good story to tell over brunch. Once we were back on campus, the guy invited me back to his friend’s house for a party. It was in the park, in the middle of the day, in a planned meet-up during a run. Specifically my hips, seriously trying to lower myself down onto his King Kong dong. Well, he’s married, but funniest hookup stories likes to pretend he’s God. I couldn’t believe it. He even took dog food and milkbones.

Embarrassing Dating Stories!

Drunk sex does not equal good sex. I got Tinder about a month ago and met with my first live one last week. We had actually been messaging for about a week or two, pretty different schedules to blame, but we ended up meeting up for a concert which led to drinks which led to me inviting him back to my house which led to sex. The sex lasted fucking forever and not in a good way.

Gentlemen, this is not desirable. Shit hurts after not too long.

Is there another way to talk without the use of e, another partner I didn’t know told me I was awesome. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard that said about me or my friends, you know belong funniest hook up stories us, not that I’m complaining but I want to ask everyone here is this normal.

We’d kissed the last time I saw him, so I had a feeling this would be the night we’d finally make out. After a lot of flirting throughout the night, he led me to a couch in the back of the room and kissed me! We ended up only making out for a minute because so many people were around us. I was so giddy that I went upstairs to find my best friend and tell her about it. I heard Chris coming and figured he wanted to kiss more in private, so I ducked into the food pantry, which was basically pitch-black.

When he walked in, I grabbed him and went for it. You can only imagine how mortified I was when I pulled away and realized it wasn’t him — it was his twin brother!

1991 Specialized Stumpjumper Comp

But coming in at a close second? Just how sexually liberating it was. We divulge all some of these tales, after the jump.

7. She gave me the wrong number, so I hooked up with the girl from the wrong number. “This happened to me a long time ago I met a girl at a bar and after some chatting we hit it off (I thought so) I got her phone number and promised to call.

Age and body type have intriguingly not been specified. By leading with all physical attributes including age, hair and eye color, height, weight and the description “attractive athletic,” we know this guy is proud of what he looks like. The fact that he wants to meet up for a drink and exchange oral sex in a car, well, that leads one to believe that he probably lives with someone. If it’s a girlfriend or wife, that’s one thing. If it’s his parents, that’s kind of sad, plus it might mean the car he’s proposing to make out in is owned by his folks.

If any bodily fluids are spilled, be prepared to be handed a Wet- Nap. Where It Went Wrong: Meanwhile, he completely forgets to give any sort of indication about what type of woman he’s looking for, which gives off the impression that he’ll pretty much let anybody gargle his goods. The fact that he spells maybe, “mabey” not once, but twice is also somewhat troubling.

Embarrassing Dating Stories!

I’d last seen him over 15 years ago. He had been my first love and our relationship consisted mainly of awkward teenage fumblings in awkward locations. We skirted each other like matador and bull until alcohol and slow music led us to stumble against each other in a clumsy reunion. We lay there and reminisced about those awkward teenage fumblings until we partook of some very awkward something fumblings.

Last week’s post about a paragraph midnight rant about office supplies revealed that we all love a good rant, especially when we can just watch from the sidelines.. So we need more. This is a call to share the best office rant you’ve ever received via email (or voicemail or other methods, for that mater).

Download Sloppy Seconds free on iBooks and Kindle. During the second dance, she turned around and basically dry humped me for the entire song. And the very best part: We were greatly excited. We immediately planned a trip to Dallas. At the outset, all ten of us were in. But as the departure date loomed closer, some of the group started taking dives.

Funny DIY stories

I probably do more embarrassing things in a day than most people do in a month. But everyone, and I mean everyone, has at least one brutally embarrassing, awkward, or cringe-worthy hookup story. I recently reached out to my peers to share their stories and they did not disappoint. The following are 12 of the most painful, or just downright hilarious, sexual encounters that I had the pleasure of hearing about.

My funniest hook up story happened a few months ago when I was still with my ex. We were camping with some friends and wanted to get frisky outside so we went out in the woods to this secluded area and started hooking up.

Presidential Knockout What you are about to read is really, really gross!! It is very offensive and describes very gross sexual acts. I do not endorse any of the acts listed. I just think it is very funny. If you get offended easy please do not read the list. Also, If you are under 18 please go back to my home page now at: I will send you the funniest stuff I have found on the Net. There might be some adult content, so join with that in mind.

Breakup stories: The weird, the sad & the just plain funny

From weird fetishes to double lives, these stories will work out your funny bone and give your aching heart a rest! We were paired up for a project and really hit it off. We started dating and it lasted about three months; I even drove four hours to Wisconsin to meet his parents — so it was kind of getting serious.

The best love stories that will make you cry. These short tales of romance and heartbreak about teenage boys and girls who fall in love and boyfriends and girlfriends who die for love.

Advertisement – Continue Reading Below 1. We fooled around and then fell asleep but I was shortly woken up after by feeling a warm liquid on me and thought he had jacked off. Then I realized he had peed on me and I was shocked and grossed out. I elbowed him and he woke up. I guess he realized what happened and told me he was going to leave. The next day he left his wallet in my room so I had to awkwardly give it back to him. Safe to say we never hooked up again. We both came out completely disheveled and everyone knew what had happened.

He was fucking me from behind, and the hand dryers came on. This was my first frat party ever, mind you. We went home together, had sex, and went on to date for almost a year. A little later in the night, I met his twin and could not tell them apart at all.

If “Netflix And Chill” Were Honest